|Posted by jagjava on December 28, 2006 at 12:25 AM|
I love this time of year, particularly because I have always asked for, anticipated and manifested receiving books as gifts. Thus year end/new year beginning is a time I look forward to for learning and personal reflection. Recently as an artist I find myself being drawn further towards the realm of wildlife painting. One particular artist has caught my attention, a Belgian artist by the name of Carl Brenders. Being 1 quarter Belgian myself I feel a particular bond to this fabulous artist. This Xmas fortuitously, I received both a book and a magazine containing interviews with the great Mr. Brenders, so I was blessed to be able to have a little more insight into the life of this great artist.
I was particular struck by his comments about how emotionally attached he is to his own work, not in any kind of haughty or self important way but because of the sheer emotion, care, deep respect and attachment that is poured into each and every work. He made the comment that when he sells a painting it "hurts my heart."
I so resonated with this statement that I had to put the magazine down and just close my eyes and have his words move through me. This brought up a lot of emotion for me. Emotion I'm not always aware of its source but this simple statement was a revelation for me.
Recently I sold two paintings and a print and I must admit that I have been experiencing a sort of back log of emotion. A lot goes on when an artist, well when *this* artist sells a painting. There are emotions that need a sereneness to be honoured and moved through and ultimately find their voice of rejoicing.
When one of my paintings finds a new home there is a moment when my soul sings. It says "yes, someone has understood the song of my soul. Someone has understood it so well that they are willing to exchange their energy for mine in order to obtain its gifts." That is so huge!! With that comes what I feel to be a huge responsibility on the part of my soul. It is the responsibility for that little artistic expression to keep up its end of the bargain, to go on without me to spread its voice to the new environment. There resides at this moment the giving over of its energy from a piece of my spirit, of my essence, and setting it free to live a life of its own and of the new owners will.
What goes out from me is pure consciousness, to be handed over to the care of someone else. In this process goes a piece of my heart. It is a good thing but there is a sense of loss, albeit a blessed and happy loss, a loss just the same.
Recently while in the company of some perhaps a lot less experienced and sensitive to the gentle art of energy exchange, I was questioned, judged and even ridiculed for my personal feelings and the process I go through in selling a painting, as though my gifts, insight and sacred processes were stupid illogical and just plain nonsense.
"Why are you an artist if you don't want to sell paintings?"
Wait now, who said I didn't want to sell paintings?
There is beauty in these emotions I go through that revolve around "sales" There is quiet gratitude. There is the blessed gift of being understood and honoured for showing someone your views and having them appreciated. I am touched when I have touched others. This the spring of the tears that well within me, begging for release when someone buys my painting, indeed a piece of my soul.
This is what I live for, to touch the human heart by my words or by my brush, and each time I sell a painting, a poem or a piece of information, there are tears of gratitude that I have reached someone with the vibration of my own personal frequency.
December 27 2006